I am 15. I am half Norwegian, half Ojibwe Indian. I am a feminist.

A year ago, I wouldn't have called myself a feminist. Or at least not the kind of feminist I consider myself to be today. I knew little to nothing of Bitch Magazine, "Bikini Kill," Gloria Steinem, Lilith Fair, abortion issues, GLBT rights and racial issues...the list goes on and on.

Back then my view of feminism was the one I got from Cosmopolitan and "Sex and the City." These cultural products don't promote women so much as celebrate what I call "fecho," a feminine term for macho. As a woman who plays a very important part in my life once pointed out: "It seems to me that Cosmo only writes about three things: how to find a man, how to look good for a man, and how to keep your man happy."

Women who embody the ideals of fecho are beautiful, sophisticated, have high-ranking jobs, and are (supposedly) in charge of their own sexualities. However, women's magazines like Cosmo are full of oxymorons. They have a very weak "Girl Power" message to them. For example, one article might tell you to BE INDEPENDENT, but then add OR HE WON'T LIKE YOU. Another will proclaim LOVE YOUR BODY accompanied by an ad for OUR NEW EAT-NOTHING DIET. These kinds of articles and advertisements don't seem to be throwing out a feminist message to me. Instead, fecho preaches confidence while promoting insecurity. Fecho is designed to make women attractive to men (assumed to be women's sexual partners) and promote an image that women should conform to... excusing the whole mess by calling it individuality.

This was no longer good enough for me. So I went from a fecho 'tween to a feminist queen. I started getting into people like comedian Margaret Cho and authors Jennifer Baumgardner and Amy Richards. These women were smart, funny, beautiful, talented, and not afraid to shock and outrage. They were also in charge of their own sexual rights, had excellent jobs, and did important things. But they managed to do it without conforming to the ridiculous concept of fecho. Feminist Margaret Cho ruminates on gender politics, gay sexuality, and racial issues--while being unafraid of using VERY profane language. Fecho ladies merely hint at the fact that women have rights, all in a "polite" but heavily made-up sort of way.

Why? Because women with shocking opinions would scare men away. Being a feminist is not chic in mainstream culture. Feminism is scary, and opinionated women aren't as appealing to mainstream men. Fecho is offered as a substitute for feminism.

Feminists today have a horrible stereotype attached to them. When you are a modern teenager, being into women-empowerment is considered threatening and unattractive. The first time I called myself a feminist in front of a group of friends, a white, straight, male friend of mine said, "Feminists are stupid. They're only trying to be better then men!"

I'm sure that the image that automatically projected in this 16 year old boy's head was pop culture's version of a feminist: a "butch" type of woman who looks like Gene Hackman at 5:00 a.m., wearing overalls and a flannel, with an evil grimace that screams "CASTRATE NOW!"

I wondered if many guys felt this way. To find out more about what boys my age thought about feminism, I interviewed three of my high school peers. I asked them four easy questions and wrote down everything that came out of their mouths. Here's what I found out. (The names have been changed to protect the innocent...or the guilty.)

"Peter": white, straight, 16 years old.
"Caleb": white, straight, 16 years old.
"John": black, bisexual, 17 years old.

Question 1. What is the first thing you think of when you hear the word "Feminist"?

Peter and Caleb said things like: "Angry dykes," "women that have gone over their rights," "bitches," "ball-busters" (to which I muttered under my breath, "Just you wait..."), and "boring." John said things like, "strong women," "usually older," "political women into empowerment."

Question 2. Who would you rather date, Sarah Michelle Gellar's character Buffy, butt kicking, strong, in charge of herself; or Paris Hilton, lazy, beautiful, shameless?

Caleb said he'd choose Buffy, "because she's hotter and Paris is a dumb slut!" Peter said he'd choose both because "they both were hot, but Paris is kind of stupid." John chose neither: "They're both way too skinny, I'd rather go gay. Plus, Buffy would kick my butt!"

Question 3. What do you prefer, women wearing tight, revealing clothing, or women who dress modestly?

Caleb said, "If you cover up, that shows you got respect for yourself. If you dress skanky, you look skanky." Peter said (after laughing at the apparent stupidity of my question), "Less clothes equals more sexy." John said, "I don't really care, but I guess people should dress to their body type and not go too crazy."

Question 4. What does a feminist look like?

Caleb said: "Someone who isn't very pretty, old, and doesn't wear a lot of make-up." Peter said: "Butch dykes! That sums it all up!" John said: "Powerful, usually a little older."

What can feminists do to defeat these demeaning stereotypes and promote real feminism accompanied by positive images? To show that it's not about being BETTER then men, but about being EQUAL with men. The way this writer sees it, it is the male-dominated media that is responsible for the feminist stereotypes, so why don't we use media to fight back? Let's protest songs, movies, or whatever that condone sexism, homophobia, and racism. We could also send out speakers-- people who are good at communicating with kids and have them talk about it. Start feminist or equality clubs at local high schools. Have feminist summer camps, music festivals and so on.

It is by taking charge and producing positive outlets that we can defeat the backlash, the stereotypes that all feminists fall under, and show that we are actually a lot of different things: queer, black, Native, punk-rock, Asian, transgendered, make-up lovers, radicals, men, bilingual, married, Girlies, mothers, sisters, fathers, beautiful, writers, artists, musicians, and women.

For Margaret Cho, Elizabeth Wurtzel, and Kathleen Hanna, who inspire me. And for Dana Nichols, the first feminist I ever loved.