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When I was 16 I was one of those girls who constantly got in trouble with school administration for not having enough clothes on. I couldn't wait to get to college where I could wear, or not wear, whatever I wanted.
That was around the time I started sleeping nude. In addition to hating to wear clothes, I also planned on becoming a massage therapist and practiced on anyone who'd let me. My new favorite hobby was belly-dancing and guys said I had one of those voices that was perfect for phone-sex (I think that means I sounded like a 16 year old girl).
I was your regular everyday whore... except, I was a virgin. By the time I got to college half the people in my dorm had decided I was a lesbian and the other half accused me of flirting with someone's boyfriend.
I used to be largely oblivious to how other people interpreted my sexuality. I was who I was and that was that. Over time I have realized the significance of others' interpretations of myself.
My basic ideology is that people should do whatever they want and as long as it doesn't hurt anyone, it's fine. It would be great if we could just "be;" but as is so often the case, we must "be something."
In terms of sexuality, our options for that "something" are very limited. Women can choose to be "good girls" or "bad girls". The English language and popular slang rely heavily on this binary, and there is little room for overlap.
Most of us are neither good nor bad, but fit outside of these easy definitions altogether. Unfortunately, we are pressured to be one way or the other and will be perceived one way or the other. We all struggle to find a place where we can be happy with both how we identify, and how we are perceived.
Our featured article in this, the debut of the F-WORD's Sexuality/Gender section, is a slightly giggly tale of one girl's exploration of her sexuality... as she deals with "The Big V."